By Bishop Pat D.D.
My Awakening
There are times within ones life when darkness fills a void and one finds a comfort in the mask they wear and their actions. I have found myself there numerous of times. Yet one can say that if one moment within the vast void of the darkness in their life changed the outcome of a new chapter unfolding before them this was one of them.
That moment became a turning point in my thoughts, my actions and the way I begin to view the world. My world at this point had become a self-imposed cell within as well as without. One that became a prison beyond the one I resided in. I was suffering the confines of society due to an incident I can only say I designed yet I was a victim of societies ills and fears. I had been released from the wall of prison and found myself in a work release program. The job I had found was a counselor for disabled and developmentally-disabled adults. Part of my job was two or three nights a week I stayed over at the group home, which employed me.
After all the residents were in bed I was furnished with a small studio apartment where I could retire too and find relaxation from the toil of the day.
On one of those nights when the world outside was a far cry away what happen became more than just a turning point.
Once the fear I had never experience left and through my mentor at the time I realized that not only a new chapter was immersion but also one of those turning points was beginning. The road I was embarking on was one of searching seeking discovering that there is more before me than the doom of the society ills. The blackness and the years I had hidden within my self-imposed prison with the darkness of war, abused childhood and the loneliness of that which comes with the horrors of these. I awoke to the crumpling of my walls finding myself and seeing for the first time that love beauty and wonders lay before me.
I was lying on my bed and down the hallway form my back door a flash of light caught my eyes.
My body begins to temple as I jumped up to avoid the brightness of this light that seems to fill my small studio apartment.
As I stared at this, out of this light a face seem to appear. Not of one I knew, yet it was one of gentleness and peace. Then out of the light an arm seem to reach out and touched my finger tips being held in the defense stance I had taken.
Just as it had appeared it was gone. Its affects remain. I was shaking in fear and my mind begins to race with a thousand conceived thoughts of what had happen.
Done of my thoughts were of Jesus or God or gods. My life had led me to believe only one super natural being existed for me and that was the one of evil, darkness and the hate I had developed over the years.
Yet I felt a peace and an emotion I never knew. It brought tears to my eyes which I thought to be dry and unemotional.
Throughout the night I wandered around my little apartment and my rounds of the group home. Still shaken from this wandering why and what had happen.
The next morning one of my fellow employees who knew very little of me said Hello, "you must have rested well you have a glow about you."
Another who rarely spoke to me said, " Pat what has happen your aura has a blue color to it yours was always black." She had told me a few days early why she avoided me was I carried a black aura. I was aware of these things yet I had chosen to ignore their knowledge.
I felt blighter more at peace with myself and those around me. Still confused I called my mentor and set an appointment to see her. When the time came and we set in the conference room with her even she commented, "Patrick what has happen you seem and look different."
After I explained what happen the night before she suggested we do a meditation and see if I could find some answers to what happen. We did and discovered that the light was a touch form Jesus and the new emotion I experienced was Unconditional Love. Something I had never experience before and now understood.
Now I mention that my life was filled with darkness and even though my life took on a new meaning that darkness didn't want to let go. Because of my situation and the depression, which developed, I was violated from the work release and found my self again behind the walls of prison. I committed no crime nor was I sent back for doing something wrong. The depression that set in I refused to go to work and things were caving in around me. Some of the decisions I had to make only made the depression worse and I no longer function, as I should of. Yet the touch was just the beginning of the chapter, which unfolded. Back behind the walls in a single cell I realized that the touch was the beginning of a road, which would take me down a path of knowledge taught by the best of teacher Jesus Christ.
For the next two years I was open to a new world. Not only the words and world of the bible but the history of the times. Who wrote it, where did it come from? My mind became a vacuum to obtain more and more knowledge of this. I study great men and women from the realms of metaphysics to Wicca to the secret Doctrine Of Isis. The legends and stories of where we came from to how we have become what we are today.
Coming out from the walls of prison my self-imposed prison now had windows that let sunshine in and the door was no longer locked to that which was before me. I knew I wanted to become a Minster.
Since I had not graduated from a known seminary or was affiliated with a church. Doors were closed and I was looked down and turned away, at ever avenue despair set in.
Then on a chilly evening on the streets of Reno, NV a door was open and on 19th of Nov. 1989 I was ordained.
That is another story I tell some other time.
Bishop Pat D. D.
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